“Men and women, though seemingly speaking the same language, unconsciously weave gender specific social messages into their communication,” wrote Goli Sadri, Cal State Fullerton management professor and director of the Women’s Leadership Program.

Sadri examined the differences in how men and women communicate in the workplace, with the goal of maximizing women’s communication to achieve greater female empowerment, in her recent study, “Can You Hear Me Now? How Men and Women Communicate,” published in Industrial Management.

“Communication is a powerful tool. It is important for women and men to understand that they are operating with a different set of rules. Both ways of communicating work very well. To be successful and at ease in their work, men and women need to interact and function effectively using both sets of rules,” says Sadri.

The research was presented to women’s leadership students at a March 11 symposium, one of many events designed to equip Cal State Fullerton’s women students with the skills and knowledge they need to achieve their full potential in the workforce.

The Evolution of the Difference: From the Playground to the Board Room

While the differences in communication styles between men and women are most evident in work environments, often contributing to different career trajectories, Sadri believes the antecedents begin in childhood, when boys and girls grow up in different cultures.

For girls, a flat power structure is the norm, where power is shared equally, cooperation is essential and preserving friendships is valued. Fairness and compromise are rewarded, and negotiation is the key to overcoming differences.  

Competition and winning are more important than relationships in most boys’ upbringings. Competitiveness and even conflict are not taken as personally but are seen as essential for success. Opportunities for leadership are prized and progress is sought, without the end goal of perfection.

Fast forward 30 years and the differences are seen in the board meeting: Men speak at length on issues to show their interest, while brevity is the focus of women’s contributions in the quest for equitable airtime for all members. Men interrupt, while women politely take their turn. Women tend to qualify their statements, while men are more prone to take risks and assert themselves.

Which approach is best? Neither, argues Sadri, but it’s important for both to be understood and maximized to not only ensure cohesion and success of an organization, but for women to be empowered and reach their full potential.

“Often, women communicate in ways that are perceived as less effective. When a woman is aware of the impact her communication is having, she can choose to change it to achieve greater impact and be more successful,” says Sadri.

“The most important key is for women and men to understand the rules of both cultures and to know both ways of communicating and interacting can work very well,” wrote Sadri in her study. “The challenge arises when we are communicating and interacting using different sets of rules. To be successful and at ease in their work, they need to interact and function effectively with both sets of rules. Conversations will flow most easily and effectively for both men and women at work when everyone understands and can communicate across both sets of conversational rituals.”

Keys to Understanding and Working Together

Sadri argues that versatility in linguistic style – the characteristic way a person speaks – is essential for successful collaboration for both genders. “If we are not getting the results we want, then we need to change our language in order to create a bigger impact,” she wrote.

Equally significant is body language, which can include low power positions in which individuals appear physically smaller, such as by clasping their hands or holding their heads downward, or high-power poses, in which legs are outstretched and arms are held away from the body, for instance.

Women tend to take up less physical space than men, which can convey – often incorrectly – a difference in confidence level.

The solution? Consider adopting a power position two minutes before a stressful or important situation such as a job interview, business meeting or speaking engagement.

For More on Women’s Leadership

The Cal State Fullerton College of Business and Economics recognizes and cultivates the potential of the college’s women students through the Women’s Leadership Program, open to sophomores, juniors, seniors and graduate students and consisting of seven professional development sessions each semester, along with five coaching sessions with a professional coach, and the Titan Women Collective, focused on the entrepreneurial development of aspiring businesswomen.

“Students develop a set of skills to help them be more successful at work,” says Sadri of the Women’s Leadership Program. “They also get modeled exposure to successful women and an opportunity to network. Participants report an increase in overall confidence at the end of the program and a greater willingness to apply for jobs and promotions at an accelerated rate.”

For more on the commitment of the College of Business and Economics to women’s empowerment, read our articles on women’s leadership.